‘Everybody is hurting’: Ontario family talks for first time after mother, children fatally shot

In social media images, Carly Stannard-Walsh’s arms were always around her two children.

And that’s how the family buried them — together, in a final embrace.

After the murder-suicide that took their daughter and grandchildren in June, the parents of Carly are trying to gradually rebuild their lives from what they describe as their darkest days.

“I’ve accepted that they’re gone because I don’t have a choice,” said Mary Stannard, the mother to Carly and grandmother to Madison and Hunter Walsh.

“The biggest thing for me is what they went through in their last moments. But I am getting better because I have been telling myself that it’s over — their pain is gone.”

Carly, 41, and her children, Madison, 13, and Hunter, 8, were found dead from gunshot wounds inside their home in the 1200 block of County Road 13 in Harrow on June 20.

The children’s father and Carly’s husband, Steven Walsh, also found inside the home, died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, according to police.

“They not only died … they died a horrible death,” said Paul Stannard, the father of Carly and grandfather of Madison and Hunter. “It’s been really hard.

“Everybody is hurting.”

Essex County OPP launched an investigation after officers discovered the bodies of the family while responding to a request for a wellness check at the home.

Police have not yet revealed whether there were any previous calls to the rural address.

“Steve had been in his bedroom for weeks, depressed, and Carly was taking care of the whole load — the kids, the dogs, the house, and soccer — while trying to get this man to come back into the real world,” said Mary, speaking to the Windsor Star last week at her Windsor home.

“That may be where the darkness came from, in that moment, but they had a very happy life together, the whole family.”

Few details about the circumstances leading to the family members’ deaths have been made public, but OPP investigators have described the incident as a case of intimate partner violence.

“I saw this man show love for his family in so many different ways that you would see in a normal family,” Mary said. “He loved his family. Even though he did this horrible thing, he loved his family.

“He was just in a very dark place.”

The Walsh family’s lives were cut short, but the cherished memories they created live on through loved ones, close friends, and the small community of Harrow, where their presence is deeply missed. 

The town of about 3,000 people held a public vigil and fundraising campaigns for the Walshes. 

“It doesn’t matter where we go or who we see, we are reminded of them every day,” Paul told the Star in the couple’s first media interview. “There hasn’t been a day that goes by where they aren’t on our minds.”

Paul, a retired IT manager who worked in both Windsor and Detroit, and Mary, a retired court clerk for the Ontario Superior Court of Justice in Windsor, adopted their daughter Carly in 1983, four years after adopting their son James in 1979.

Carly was known for her vibrant personality and determination, they said — always setting goals and striving to achieve them. 

According to her parents, her greatest aspiration was to provide her children with the best childhood imaginable. 

“She bawled her eyes out when those children were born,” Mary said, reflecting on a tender moment she shared with her daughter just four months before the tragic deaths.

“I was at her house, just the two of us and the kids. They were playing and Carly and I were enjoying a chocolate Manhattan and she suddenly said to me, ‘I can’t believe I did that, I can’t believe I made them, Mom.’

“That moment is really special to me.”

Carly’s love for sports started at a young age, according to Paul. 

“She was a great bowler,” Paul said as he recalled taking his daughter bowling every Saturday morning for about seven years.

“She had a 180 average at 13 years old. Even if the odds were against her, she never let it bother her.

“She would just keep trying and I was so proud of her for that.”

Judging by family photos, Carly kept Madison and Hunter close. Whether it was a typical day on the soccer field or a weekend camping trip, her arms were always around her children.

“That’s how we buried them,” said Paul, who couldn’t bear the idea of three separate caskets.

“We put Carly in a casket and cremated the two kids, putting one (urn) in each arm, so she’s hugging them and she’ll never be away from them.”

As the Stannard family continues to heal from the loss of Carly, Madison, and Hunter, they said they wish to express their gratitude to the people of Harrow for their strong display of community support over the past two months.

Carly was active in the community, working as an assistant manager at a local winery and volunteering with a school parent council and Harrow Minor Soccer — all while encouraging her children to participate in many activities.

“They lived their lives well, not just for themselves, but for others,” Mary said. “We’re going to miss them a whole hell of a lot.”

Hunter, a Grade 3 student, and Madison a Grade 7 student, both attended St. Anthony Catholic Elementary School in Harrow.

Madison, known for her kind and caring nature, loved to dance with her step-grandmother, Linda Stannard. 

Regardless of the location, whenever music played, they would often take the opportunity to enjoy themselves.

“Madi was my girl,” said Paul’s wife, Linda. “It didn’t matter if we were in the middle of the mall hallway — if there was music playing, you bet we were dancing.”

Madison, described in a memorial as a “budding entrepreneur,” had already begun working at a nail salon and the Camoes Portuguese Club of Harrow.

“Carly was a hard worker and so was Madison at the age of 13,” said Linda.

Hunter, a busy young guy with a huge smile and “quite the personality,” loved to play outside and ride the dirt bike his paternal grandfather made him.

“He always walked me to the car and kissed me on the lips and said, ‘Goodbye Grandma, I love you’,” recalled Mary. “As I’d start driving up their laneway through the trees to the highway, I could see him in my rearview mirror waving goodbye to me.

“I hated pulling out onto the highway, but that image of him waving goodbye to me in my rearview mirror will always be there and I’ll always be waving back.”

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